Alan Alda

Born Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo, Alan Alda is often mistaken for Jewish, a testament perhaps to his on-screen persona as the quick-witted, slightly neurotic, yet deeply moral Hawkeye Pierce. However, a quick glance at his family tree reveals a decidedly Italian-American lineage. His father, Robert Alda, was also an actor of Italian descent, and his mother was of Irish ancestry. So, while he convincingly played a Jewish character in "Crimes and Misdemeanors" and exuded a certain Ashkenazi charm, the gefilte fish was nowhere near his family table growing up.

Despite the lack of a tribal connection, Alda has certainly made his mark on the world. Beyond M*A*S*H, his career boasts an impressive array of roles on stage and screen, earning him numerous Emmy and Golden Globe Awards, along with an Academy Award nomination. He's also a prolific director and an outspoken advocate for science communication, often hosting Scientific American Frontiers.

While his "Jew Score" might not be as high as some fans might wish, Alan Alda's contributions to entertainment and his intellect certainly make him kvell-worthy on a universal scale. He's the kind of guy you'd want to share a deli sandwich with, even if he prefers prosciutto to pastrami.