Amanda Bynes

Verdict: Jew

I · O · K Score

0 / 15

Young Amanda Bynes is half Jewish, half Catholic, and says about religion that "I haven't decided yet". So, we're here to help out!

CatholicsJews Religion LeaderThe PopeNone Advantage: Jews. Go to G-d. Go directly to G-d. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Biggest DisasterThe Irish Potato FamineBarbra Streisand Advantage: Catholics. Not even close. Spring HolidayEasterPassover Advantage: Jews. Marshmallow peeps taste like cardboard. Plus, have you seen what the goyim wear on Easter? Sheesh. Winter HolidayChristmasChanukah Advantage: Push. Sure, Christmas is celebrated by millions, has become synonymous with happiness in American culture and has tons and tons of gifts but Chanukah has... something... we think... CrackersCommunion WafersMatzah Advantage: No one. Because when we eat crackers, no one wins. MadonnaMother of JesusWanna-be Jew Advantage: Catholics. Sigh. You're welcome to take her back now, by the way. Sunday School TeachersNuns with RulersCantors with Guitars Advantage: Jews. To be fair, the nuns with rulers are only slightly more painful, but it's enough. Church or Temple LeaderPriestRabbi Advantage: Jews. (Comment about priests removed to not offend our Catholic readers.)

Well, it's pretty close, but at the end it's abundantly clear that... What's this? Amanda has already described herself as Jewish? That's great, except... Now what are we going to do with our wonderful chart!?

Filed May 15, 2026 · musicians-and-singers