Archimedes

Archimedes of Syracuse, born in 287 BCE, was a Greek mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and astronomer. He's arguably best known for his 'Eureka!' moment in the bathtub, which led to his principle of buoyancy, though one could argue that discovering why your bath overflows is hardly genius-level compared to, say, trigonometry. Still, it's a good story.

His practical inventions were nothing short of legendary. He designed innovative siege engines that fended off Roman invaders for years, including a claw that could lift attacking ships out of the water. He also invented the Archimedes' screw, a device still used today for moving water, which means he's responsible for both irrigation and naval destruction. Talk about range.

While his contributions to mathematics and science were monumental, securing his place as one of the greatest minds in history, there's absolutely no evidence of any Jewish identity or origin. He was as Greek as a gyro, making his I and O scores definitively zero. But his sheer intellectual output? That's Kvell-worthy enough to rate a perfect 5, proving you don't need to be part of the tribe to bring serious nachas to the world.