Celine Dion

Celine Dion, the Canadian chanteuse whose voice could shatter glass (and probably records too), is undeniably a megastar. She’s given us anthems of love, loss, and the Titanic, proving that even a sinking ship can inspire a soaring ballad. Her career is a testament to perseverance, talent, and an unwavering commitment to dramatic key changes.

Born to a large Catholic family in Charlemagne, Quebec, Dion's roots are firmly planted in French-Canadian soil. There's no hidden ancestral scroll or whispered family legend of a secret Jewish grandmother here. She's about as Jewish as poutine, which is to say, not at all, but equally delicious in its own right.

While she certainly makes us kvell with her vocal prowess and ability to sell out stadiums faster than you can say 'My Heart Will Go On,' her kvell-worthiness for us is, alas, entirely in the secular realm. Unless she secretly funds a yeshiva or records an album of Yiddish show tunes, her contributions remain firmly outside the Tribe's direct purview. Still, a good power ballad is a good power ballad, no matter who's singing it.