Charlie Parker

Charlie Parker, born in Kansas City, Kansas, was not Jewish. His father, Charles Parker Sr., was an entertainer and salesman, and his mother, Addie Boxley, was a domestic worker. There's no indication of Jewish heritage on either side of his family tree, which means his gefilte fish consumption was likely limited to whatever came free with the Chinese food.

Parker's innovations on the alto saxophone, his harmonic sophistication, and his lightning-fast improvisations reshaped jazz forever. He influenced generations of musicians, Jewish and gentile alike, proving that you don't need a bar mitzvah to achieve musical transcendence.

Though his life was tragically short and marked by struggles with addiction, Parker's impact is immeasurable. He was the kind of genius who made everyone else look like they were still practicing scales. We'd kvell, if he weren't so decidedly not ours.