Christiaan Huygens

Christiaan Huygens, a man whose scientific prowess was as vast as the universe he studied, hailed from a prominent Dutch family. His father, Constantijn Huygens, was a diplomat, poet, and composer, effectively ensuring Christiaan grew up surrounded by intellect and refinement. Unfortunately for our purposes, this intellectual lineage did not, as far as historical records indicate, include any dalliances with the tribe.

Huygens was a true polymath, dabbling in mathematics, physics, astronomy, and horology. He gave us the wave theory of light, a concept so brilliant it took a while for people to truly appreciate it, and significantly improved the pendulum clock, making time-keeping far more precise. He also discovered Titan, Saturn's largest moon, which frankly makes spotting your neighbor's cat look rather pedestrian.

His discoveries were groundbreaking, earning him a place among the titans (pun intended) of science. However, despite his immense contributions to human knowledge and his clear intellectual superiority, Christiaan Huygens remained stubbornly, profoundly, and unequivocally Gentile. He did, however, correspond with Baruch Spinoza, which is about as close as he got to any Jewish connection.