Clara Barton

Clara Barton, born on Christmas Day, no less, was a truly remarkable woman. She started her career as a teacher, then worked in the US Patent Office, before finding her true calling on the battlefields of the American Civil War, where her tireless efforts earned her the moniker 'Angel of the Battlefield.' Sounds very gentile, doesn't it?

After the war, Barton traveled to Europe and discovered the International Red Cross. Inspired, she brought the concept back to the United States, founding the American Red Cross in 1881. This was, undoubtedly, a kvell-worthy achievement, saving countless lives and providing aid during disasters. We just wish there was a little more gefilte fish in her past.

Despite her heroic efforts and undeniable impact on American society, there is precisely zero evidence to suggest Clara Barton had any Jewish identity or origin. Her family tree, as far as historical records show, is distinctly New England Protestant. So, while she was busy doing God's work, she was doing it without a yarmulke.

She never married and devoted her life to service, a commitment that, while admirable, doesn't exactly scream 'Jewish Mother.' In summary, a giant of American history, a humanitarian par excellence, but as Jewish as a ham sandwich on Easter.