Clarice Starling

Clarice Starling, the intrepid FBI trainee who first graced our screens in "The Silence of the Lambs," is a testament to the power of a keen mind and an even keener sense of smell. Growing up in rural West Virginia, she didn't exactly frequent shul. In fact, her origin story is about as far from a Shabbat dinner as one can get, involving orphaned lambs, Lutheran orphanages, and a distinct lack of gefilte fish. So, let's be clear: Clarice Starling is about as Jewish as a ham sandwich. A very smart, very brave ham sandwich, but a ham sandwich nonetheless.

Her "Jew or Not Jew" scores reflect this lack of any discernible connection to Jewish heritage or practice. Starling's identity is forged in the crucible of trauma and dedication to justice, not in the warmth of a Jewish community. She's too busy hunting serial killers to worry about lighting Hanukkah candles.

However, one cannot deny the sheer chutzpah (okay, maybe just bravery) it took for Starling to stare down Hannibal Lecter and unravel the mysteries of Buffalo Bill. Saving Catherine Martin from a terrifying fate, even if it meant venturing into the darkest corners of human depravity, certainly earns her a respectable K score. If only she could have brought some matzo ball soup to the ordeal; it might have made the entire experience a bit more comforting.