Colin Powell

In his autobiography, Colin Powell claims to have distant Jewish ancestry. So that's nice. We'll take his word for it.

That being said, how are we going to profile him?

We can talk about our surprise that he turns out to be a tad Jewish, but we've done that too many times to mention.

We can discuss his rather peculiar ability to speak Yiddish, but we already did that (Michael Caine).

A detour into our disdain for the Bush presidency? (Ari Fleischer, etc, etc.)

Since Powell's parents were Jamaican immigrants, something about Jews and Jamaica? Done that too (Bob Marley, mon).

The lack of Jewish generals? Crossed that bridge already (Norman Schwarzkopf).

Complaining about our inability to profile someone? We haven't done that one yet, right?

We have? Crap.

Verdict: **Barely a Jew**.

_May 8, 2009_