Constance Wu

Let's make one thing abundantly clear: Constance Wu is not Jewish. Not even a little bit. Her heritage, as widely reported and celebrated, is Taiwanese-American. We're pretty sure "Crazy Rich Asians" wasn't a documentary about the secret lives of Asian-Jewish converts in Singapore.

While her career achievements are certainly notable, deserving of a respectable "K" score, they don't magically imbue her with Abrahamic ancestry. It's almost as if some people believe that any successful minority simply must have some hidden Jewish connection. Spoiler: they don't.

So, for those of you who were deeply invested in the possibility of "Constance Wu, Jewish Actress," we regret to inform you that you'll have to look elsewhere for your kvelling needs. Perhaps try Barbra Streisand? She's practically a one-woman Jewish pride parade.