Dr. Bronner

BRONNER!

If you have never heard of Emanuel Bronner, then you probably have never heard of Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps! It truly is an amazing soap—it can be used as face cleanser, body wash, shampoo, bath liquid, shaving liquid, toothpaste, decongestant steam, foot bath, dishwashing liquid, laundry detergent, mopping liquid, multipurpose cleaning spray, window cleaner, toilet cleaner, fruit and vegetable wash, dog shampoo, plant spray, and bug spray!

DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!

You need to make sure to dilute! DILUTE! Why are we writing like this? Well, because the soap is famous for its insane labels, covered with tiny text—with many dashes and many many exclamation points! These labels not only tell you about the wonders of the soap—they also implore you to be generous, fair & loving to Spaceship Earth and contain references to Rabbi Jesus—yes, that one—and Rabbi Hillel—this is very tiresome to read, isn't it?!

RANDOM QUOTES!

"Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants."—William Osler "What is elegance? Soap and water!"—Cecil Beaton "I make and I sell soap. The yardstick of civilization."—Tyler Durden

FAMILY HISTORY!

We also need to tell you that Emanuel Bronner was born Jewish in 1908 with the name Heilbronner in Germany to a family of soap-makers—he didn't like that Heil part after the Nazis got to power—so he came to America, where he could carry on his family's traditions and make great soap! Don't forget to dilute—help heal Earth!

Verdict: **Jew**.

_June 6, 2025_