Edward Hopper

Born in Nyack, New York, Edward Hopper was of Dutch and English descent, which, last we checked, does not typically include a stopover at the nearest synagogue. His upbringing was Baptist, which, for those scoring at home, is generally considered a hard pass on the Jewish identity front. He focused on art school instead of Hebrew school, a decision that probably paid off in terms of artistic legacy, if not in matzah ball soup consumption.

Hopper's melancholic, often isolated scenes of American life — think diners at night, solitary figures in hotel rooms, and gas stations looking particularly lonely — have cemented his place in art history. While his work evokes deep introspection, it rarely ventures into themes of ancient covenants or the finer points of kosher dietary laws.

His contributions to American art are undeniable, making his paintings instantly recognizable and highly influential. He created a visual vocabulary for urban alienation and quiet contemplation, proving that you don't need a menorah to illuminate the human condition. His legacy is robust, his brushstrokes iconic, and his Jew Score, well, let's just say it's more 'Nighthawks' than 'Festival of Lights.'