Elton John

Reginald Kenneth Dwight, better known as Elton John, might be flamboyant enough to make a Hasidic wedding look understated, but his roots are firmly planted in English suburbia, not the shtetl.

He's penned enough hits to fill a synagogue’s worth of megaphones, but none of them, to our knowledge, have been liturgical in nature. While he’s certainly collaborated with a diverse array of talent, a klezmer band has yet to make it onto his tour rider.

His stage persona is pure spectacle, a peacock preening in sequins and oversized glasses. You might find more subtlety in a Purim play, but at least Elton John knows how to write a catchy tune. He’s certainly brought a lot of joy to the world, just not in a particularly Jewish way.

So, while he might be a Rocket Man, he’s definitely not a Rebbe Man. His "Tiny Dancer" probably isn't doing the hora, and his "Candle in the Wind" is unlikely to be a menorah.