Eva Perón

Eva María Duarte de Perón, or Evita, as she's more famously known, rose from humble beginnings to become a formidable political figure in Argentina. As the wife of President Juan Perón, she championed labor rights and women's suffrage, all while maintaining a rather fabulous wardrobe. Her story is so dramatic, Broadway couldn't resist.

Despite her immense influence and the almost saint-like devotion she inspired in some, there's precisely zero evidence connecting Evita to Judaism. No secret synagogue visits, no whispered family histories, not even a distant cousin twice removed who once owned a deli. Her roots were firmly Catholic, as was her public persona.

While her humanitarian efforts and fight for the working class might earn a fleeting nod of approval from a certain type of kvelling bubbe, it's purely on universal merit. Her legacy is one of Argentine populism, not Semitic heritage.

So, while she certainly knew how to work a crowd and command attention, Eva Perón remains firmly in the "Not a Jew" camp. We're pretty sure she never once asked "Is it good for the Jews?"