H. G. Wells

Herbert George Wells, the father of modern science fiction, penned classics like 'The War of the Worlds' and 'The Time Machine,' showcasing a remarkable knack for predicting technological and societal shifts. He also wrote extensively on social and political issues, advocating for world peace and human rights, which, while admirable, doesn't inherently make one Jewish. We've checked; it's a common misconception that being a progressive intellectual automatically grants membership in the tribe.

Born to a working-class English family, Wells's religious upbringing was largely Anglican, though he later became an outspoken agnostic and humanist. His ancestral tree, much like his literary output, branched out into fascinating new territories, but none of them led to Jerusalem, a shtetl, or even a nice deli.

Despite his clear lack of Jewish heritage or identity, Wells is undeniably kvell-worthy. His influence on literature, science, and even political thought is monumental, shaping the imaginations of generations. His foresight was extraordinary, almost prophetic, proving that even a gentile can occasionally have a brilliant idea or two (gasp!). But a Jew? Not even close. We'd give him credit for trying if he had, but he didn't.