Hymie Weiss

Are you a goyishe mobster, who, for some strange reason, wants to have a Jewish moniker? Then you've come to the right place! Please enter your name below:

Change: First Last Nickname

first = new Array("Aaron", "Abraham", "Baruch", "Benny", "Chaim", "Calev", "Dov", "Doron", "Eleazar", "Eli", "Fievel", "Fishel", "Gersh", "Gil", "Hymie", "Herschel", "Izzy", "Isaac", "Jacob", "Joshua", "Kfir", "Koen", "Leo", "Levi", "Meir", "Moishe", "Nat", "Noah", "Ofer", "Ozzie", "Pinchas", "Pesach", "Hyman", "Hillel", "Ruben", "Ravi", "Shmuel", "Shlomo", "Tzvi", "Tevye", "Uri", "Uziel", "Velvl", "Volf", "Wolf", "Woody", "Saul", "Solomon", "Yakov", "Yosef", "Zev", "Zalman"); last = new Array("Abrams", "Adelman", "Aronowicz", "Bernstein", "Bromberg", "Braun", "Cohen", "Cantor", "Coen", "Dershowitz", "Duberstein", "Dreyfus", "Einstein", "Eisenberg", "Ephron", "Finkel", "Feldman", "Fishman", "Gershon", "Gold", "Goldman", "Hirsch", "Heller", "Holtzman", "Israel", "Isaac", "Ioffe", "Jaffe", "Jacob", "Joseph", "Katz", "Koppelman", "Kornheiser", "Landsberg", "Leibowitz", "Lieberman", "Malkin", "Moskowitz", "Mayer", "Netanyahu", "Nagelberg", "Nachman", "Ovitz", "Oppenheimer", "Ornstein", "Pinkas", "Perelman", "Perlmutter", "Krantz", "Kirsch", "Klein", "Rothschild", "Rappaport", "Rabinovich", "Shapiro", "Stein", "Schwartz", "Teller", "Tevel", "Tuchman", "Ungar", "Unger", "Uziel", "Vogelstein", "Vainberg", "Vroman", "Weinstein", "Weiner", "Weisz", "Stern", "Silverman", "Sandler", "Yudin", "Yerushalmi", "Yampolsky", "Zucker", "Zilberman", "Zweig"); nicks = new Array("Heeb", "Dreidel", "Schnoz", "Putz", "Punim", "Kugel", "Latke", "Rugelach", "Matzah", "Kishke", "Bagel", "Schmaltz", "Gefilte", "Mohel", "Rabbi", "Cantor", "Boychik", "Bupkis", "Dybbuk", "Gonif", "Golem", "Klutz", "Kvetch", "Macher", "Mamzer", "Mensch", "Meshuga", "Meshuggener", "Nebbish", "Noodge", "Nudnick", "Pisher", "Schlemiel", "Schlimazel", "Schlock", "Schlong", "Schlub", "Schmuck", "Schmutz", "Schnook", "Schnorrer", "Shikker", "Shmendrik", "Tummler", "Yekke", "Yid", "Yutz", "Zaftig", "Bialy", "Blintz", "Brisket", "Farfel", "Goulash", "Knish", "Kreplach", "Lox", "Macaroon", "Schnitzel"); frm = document.rf; disable(false); function disable(b) { frm.nickname.disabled = b; frm.cf.disabled = b; frm.cl.disabled = b; frm.one.disabled = b; } function generate(random) { if (random) { frm.nickname.checked = true; frm.cf.checked = true; frm.cl.checked = true; } disable(random); frm.nickname.disabled = random; frm.cf.disabled = random; frm.cl.disabled = random; v = frm.one.value; hw = !random && v.toUpperCase() == 'HENRY WOJCIECHOWSKI'; fn = ''; ln = ''; changeFirst = frm.cf.checked; changeLast = frm.cl.checked; if (!random) { names = v.split(' '); if (names == null || names.length != 2) { alert("Please enter first and last name, separated by a space"); return; } fo = names[0]; lo = names[1]; if (!isAlpha(fo) || !isAlpha(lo)) { alert("Please use A-Z only"); return; } fc = fo.toUpperCase().charCodeAt(0)-65; lc = lo.toUpperCase().charCodeAt(0)-65; fn = first[fc*2+parseInt(Math.random()*2)]; ln = last[lc*3+parseInt(Math.random()*3)]; if (!changeFirst) fn = fo; if (!changeLast) ln = lo; } else { fn = first[parseInt(Math.random()*first.length)]; ln = last[parseInt(Math.random()*last.length)]; } if ((hw && changeFirst) || fn == '*') fn = 'Hymie'; if ((hw && changeLast) || ln == '*') ln = 'Weiss'; mi = ' '; if (frm.nickname.checked || random) { nn = nicks[parseInt(Math.random()*nicks.length)]; mi = ' "The ' + nn + '" '; } document.rf.two.value = fn + mi + ln; } function isAlpha(str) { var re = /[^a-zA-Z]/g return !(re.test(str)); }