Igor Stravinsky

Igor Stravinsky, the groundbreaking composer behind works like "The Rite of Spring" and "The Firebird," revolutionized classical music with his innovative rhythms and harmonies. His influence on subsequent generations of composers is undeniable, making him a titan of the musical world. Indeed, the man was a genius. He even wrote a ballet for elephants. We're not kidding. It was called "Circus Polka: For a Young Elephant."

Born to a Russian Orthodox family in Oranienbaum, Russia, Stravinsky's lineage is firmly rooted in Slavic, not Semitic, soil. His father was a bass opera singer, so it's safe to say music was in his blood, just not the kind that involves a shofar.

While his compositions often evoked primal, even ancient, energies, none of them overtly tapped into klezmer traditions or sounded like they belonged at a bar mitzvah. Despite his name sounding like it could be Jewish to the uninitiated, alas, he was just another brilliant Russian who happened to make wildly successful noise.

So, for those keeping score, Stravinsky scored maximum points for Kvell-worthiness among humanity, but a solid zero in the "Jew" department. Which, frankly, is fine, because we already have enough brilliant composers.