Jason Zucker

Sports journalists are being replaced by robots. It's sad, but true: computer software is now being used to write game reports.

So we're gonna get ahead of the curve: create our own software to write profiles. And what better place to start than the world of sport! Our robot has written profiles for football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and soccer!

Unless you closely follow professional hockey, you probably haven't heard of Jason Zucker. He is a rather useful role player who plays left wing for the Minnesota Wild. Last year, Zucker played in 79 games and scored 22 goals. He is known for his skating.

Unless you closely follow Jason Zucker, you wouldn't think that he is Jewish. Well, he is! Zucker's family comes from Las Vegas. He is one of few Jewish players in the NHL.

Oy, vey! What a surprising Jew!

Well, looks like we're out of a job. Joke's on you, robots: it doesn't pay a cent!