John the Baptist

John: Cousin Joshua, is that you?

Jesus: Yeah, it's me. But the name is Jesus now.

John: Jebus?

Jesus: Not Jebus, Jesus.

John: Fine, cousin Jesus. What you've been up to?

Jesus: Oh, just wandering the desert...

John: That gets pretty boring!

Jesus: You're telling me. After 40 days, I did meet this interesting fellow...

John: Satan?

Jesus: No, I don't think that was his name. I want to say... Bob? Not sure, exactly.

John: What did Bob want?

Jesus: Who knows, I was pretty out of it by then. Anywhoo, can you do me a favor?

John: I guess?

Jesus: Can you baptize me?

John: Bap-what?

Jesus: Baptize. You basically dunk my head in water. Any water will do. We can use a bucket, or go to that river over there.

John: You want me to dunk your head... in water?

Jesus: Yep.

John: Are you high? Did Bob slip you some wacky weed or something?

Jesus: God damn it, John, I'm not high! It's just something that needs to be done!

John: Okay... I guess... We do this... now?

Jesus: No, give me a couple of days to get a bunch of people to come witness it. Oh, one more thing. You can't let anyone know we're related.

John: But why? We're cousins! We always had your family over for Passover because aunt Mary can't cook!

Jesus: You keep mom out of it!

John: You always used to throw rocks at my head when we were kids...

Jesus: Yeah, but who is to know that. So if anyone asks, you say 'I do not know him'.

John: This makes no sense!

Jesus: Oh, none of this makes any sense! Just stop arguing and do what I say!

Verdict: **Sadly, a Jew**.

_August 3, 2022_