Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges

Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, proved that being born into slavery in Guadeloupe doesn't preclude one from becoming a superstar violinist, fencing master, and conductor in 18th-century Paris. He was essentially the Beyoncé of the Ancien Régime, only with more duels and fewer sequined leotards.

Known as "le Mozart noir," Bologne was so exceptionally gifted that he probably made Wolfgang Amadeus feel a bit inadequate. He penned symphonies, operas, and concertos, all while parrying thrusts and generally being far too cool for his own good. His life was less a biography and more an epic adventure novel.

Despite his undeniable genius and undeniable lack of Jewish heritage (a solid 0/5 on the O scale), Bologne was continually forced to contend with racial prejudice in a society that preferred its virtuosos to be conveniently white. He almost became the director of the Paris Opéra, but a petition from leading ladies who refused to be commanded by a man of color nixed that plan, proving that even in 1776, some people just couldn't handle a good thing.

He eventually led one of Europe's most celebrated orchestras and even commanded a regiment during the French Revolution, because why just be a musical prodigy when you can also be a military hero? Seriously, the man needed more hobbies.