Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar, the original overachiever, managed to conquer most of Gaul, expand the Roman Republic into an empire, and become Dictator Perpetuo, all before his untimely demise. He even found time to reform the calendar, which we are still using, albeit with a few tweaks here and there. Talk about leaving a legacy.

As for his Jewish bona fides, Caesar was about as Jewish as a Roman eagle. His lineage traced back to the Gens Julia, a prominent Roman patrician family, which is about as far from Abraham as you can get without leaving the Mediterranean. There's no record of him ever lighting a menorah or observing kosher laws, though he did, famously, grant certain rights and protections to Jews in the Roman Empire, possibly for strategic reasons, or perhaps he just liked the falafel.

His achievements, however, are undeniably kvell-worthy. From his military genius to his political maneuvering, Caesar practically wrote the book on how to run an empire and make enemies simultaneously. While his ultimate fate proved that even the greatest leaders aren't immune to a bad case of backstabbing, his impact on Western civilization is monumental. We'll give him full marks for that, even if his Jewish score is a solid zero.