Lao Tzu

Often hailed as the founder of Taoism, Lao Tzu's existence is as fluid as the Tao itself. Scholars debate whether he was one person, several, or simply a collection of pithy sayings attributed to a wise old sage. Regardless, his influence on Eastern thought is undeniable, proving that even a possibly fictional character can achieve profound kvelldom.

The "Tao Te Ching," his purported masterwork, is a compact treatise on how to achieve harmony by going with the flow, embracing simplicity, and generally not making a fuss. It's a philosophy that preaches detachment and quiet contemplation, which, for many, is a far cry from the boisterous, argument-filled, and highly communal traditions of, say, a Passover Seder.

While his teachings encourage universal compassion and a deep connection to nature, there's nary a menorah, a matzo ball, or even a casual "oy vey" to be found in his biography. Lao Tzu's wisdom, though profound, seems to have developed entirely independently of any Abrahamic influence. He truly walked his own path, right into the annals of global philosophy.