Lex Luthor

Meanwhile, in the swamps of New Jersey, the Legion of Doom plots their next nefarious scheme...

Luthor: All right, all right. Everybody calm down. Let's go through the status. 110054, the weather machine. Where is that at?

Cheetah: All is going puuurrrrfectly. Soon, the entire world will be covered in water!

Luthor: OK, great. Don't forget to get your hours in before I close out the job. What about job 110064, that's the... ah yes, this is that thing that's going to turn the sun into a giant hunk of kryptonite?

Braniac: I am still waiting for the estimate from the contractor.

Luthor: Can't we just... push it through? We were supposed to have started construction on the posi-negi-matter ray last week!

Solomon Grundy: Grrrrr... Grundy says no can do that! Everything has to be triple...

Luthor: Triple bid. Yes, yes, yes. I know. Well get after this guy, would you, please? We're already behind schedule on the project. Anything else?

Sinestro: Ahem, yes, well. Isn't anyone going to bring up the pernicious rumor regarding your... shall we say, heritage?

Luthor: It's all nonsense. I'm not Jewish. It's just another antisemitic smear campaign.

Bizarro: Me Bizarro. Me am Jewish.

Gorilla Grodd: Don't be ridiculous. You're not Jewish, Bizarro.

Bizarro: Me Bizarro no am sure. Me think me am Jewish.

Giganta: Oh for pete's sake...

Captain Cold: Wait, maybe he's doing that backwards talking thing again.

Bizarro: Yes, Cold is wrong. Bizarro am Jewish.

Luthor: Argh! All of this is giving me a colossal headache. I'm not Jewish. That's it. Can we please just move on now?

Sinestro: Of course. Oh, also, before I forget, the moon laser has been delayed another week.

Luthor: God...! Fine. You know what? Fine. Just... just let's all get back to work...

Verdict: **Not a Jew**.

_April 18, 2014_