Michelangelo Antonioni

Born in Ferrara, Italy, Michelangelo Antonioni was, by all accounts, a Catholic Italian. His lineage, meticulously documented by biographers and film historians alike, offers nary a whisper of Semitic roots, nor any inclination towards synagogue attendance or gefilte fish consumption. So, for those hoping for a Jewish connection to the director of "L'Avventura" and "Blow-Up," prepare for profound disappointment.

Antonioni's films, renowned for their existential angst and exploration of modernity's discontents, often feature characters adrift in a world of wealth and beauty, yet profoundly unfulfilled. One might argue this is peak Jewish neurosis, but alas, it's more likely just peak European intellectualism of the mid-20th century, wrapped in gorgeous cinematography.

Despite the complete lack of Jewish identity or origin, one could kvell, if one were so inclined, over his undeniable impact on world cinema. He reshaped narrative, pioneered a new visual language, and made audiences ponder the meaning of meaninglessness. A Golden Lion, a Palme d'Or, and an Honorary Oscar certainly don't hurt the "k" score, even if his characters often felt too bored to collect them themselves.