Michelle Obama

Everyone knows that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim.

OK, maybe not, but that's the rumor they tried to spreed to the retirees in Florida.

But does anyone know that Michelle Obama is a secret Jew?

OK, maybe not again. But she has a relative, Capers Funnye, who is a prominent rabbi. They are first cousins. Once removed. So that's something.

Still not good enough? What about Michelle's great-grandmother, Rose Ella Cohen? That does sound incredibly Jewish on the surface. But Rose was a black slave who inherited her name from her owners. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for 19th century Cohens from South Carolina.

So much for spreading rumors.