Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong, a name synonymous with lunar exploration, achieved a feat that etched him permanently into the annals of human history. As the first person to set foot on the Moon, he embodied the aspirations of an entire generation, proving that with enough rocket fuel and a good trajectory, anything is possible. Even if that anything didn't involve a bagel.

While Armstrong's contribution to space exploration is undeniable, his Jewish bona fides are, shall we say, less stellar. A quick scan of his family tree reveals a distinct lack of rabbis, cantors, or even a distant cousin who owned a deli. He was, by all accounts, a quiet, unassuming Midwesterner, more likely to enjoy a pork chop than a pastrami sandwich.

So, while we kvell at the sheer audacity and human achievement of landing on the Moon, a Jewish holiday it ain't. One could argue the lunar module was a pretty impressive sukkah, but that would be stretching it further than the Earth-Moon distance. Still, he took humanity to new heights, and for that, we can all give a collective, albeit gentile, "mazel tov."