Nzinga Mbande

Born into the Mbundu royal family, Nzinga Mbande, often known as Ana de Sousa Nzinga, displayed an aptitude for politics and warfare from a young age. While her brother ruled, she served as an envoy to the Portuguese, where she famously refused to sit on the floor, instead having a servant act as her chair, a power move that would make any modern diplomat weep with envy.

Upon her brother's death, Nzinga ascended to power, but not without considerable resistance from both internal factions and the ever-present Portuguese. She forged alliances, broke them, and reformed them with a tactical brilliance that kept the colonizers on their toes for decades, proving that even in the 17th century, a woman could be a strategic mastermind while wearing a crown.

Nzinga's reign was marked by constant struggle, but also by her relentless defense of her people's sovereignty. She adopted a variety of diplomatic and military tactics, including guerrilla warfare and leveraging rival European powers against Portugal. If there was a playbook for resisting colonialism, Nzinga wrote a significant chapter, all while maintaining her fabulous headwear.

While her religious practices were a blend of indigenous beliefs and a strategic adoption of Catholicism (she even took a Christian name), there's no historical record suggesting any connection to Judaism. Her legacy is one of fierce independence and a remarkably effective fight against overwhelming odds, but alas, no matzo balls involved.