Patrick Stewart

Sir Patrick Stewart, renowned for his gravitas and booming voice, has graced stages and screens for decades. While he frequently portrays characters of immense wisdom and moral fortitude, his real-life connection to Judaism remains, shall we say, less illuminated than a starship’s bridge in a power outage. That is to say, entirely absent.

Born and raised in Mirfield, Yorkshire, Stewart’s background is as quintessentially English as a Sunday roast. There's no hidden ancestral scroll, no whispered family legends of a journey from the shtetl to the West Riding. Just good, honest, Yorkshire stock.

He has, of course, played countless roles, but none of them, to our knowledge, involved donning a yarmulke or debating the finer points of Talmudic law. His most famous roles tend to involve starship captains or powerful mutants, not exactly the typical Jewish hero archetype, though one could argue Professor X's unwavering commitment to his often-misunderstood people has a certain, dare we say, kvell-worthy quality.

So, while we admire his talent and his knighthood, and while his performance as Jean-Luc Picard certainly brings a certain nachas to sci-fi fans, when it comes to Jewish identity or origin, we're boldly going where no Jew has gone before: a complete and utter zero.