Paul Merage

Paul Merage is the Hot Pockets billionaire. Yes, you read that right, Merage, an Iranian-born Jew, built a billion-dollar empire on the back of Hot Pockets. Yes, the turnovers you microwave in a paper sleeve. A billion dollars!

For those who never had a Hot Pocket... you are truly missing out! There are so many flavors to choose from! Here are a few:

We start with the classic ham and cheese... or, as they call it here, Ham & Cheddar. No, obviously not kosher. This milquetoast monstrosity should be only consumed by goyim. Moving on... [Next]

hc = 1; hi = document.getElementById("hp"); hs = document.getElementById("ht"); hl = document.getElementById("hn") function next() { hc++; if (hc > 4) return; hi.src = 'img/other/hp/hp'+hc+'.jpg'; t = ''; if (hc == 2) { t = "Who doesn't love pepperoni pizza? Especially if you stuff the whole thing in a tight little pocket and fill it to the top with nauseating tomato sauce... Obviously, not kosher! Do you have to ask? Moving on..."; } else if (hc == 3) { t = "BARF."; hl.innerHTML += "

"; } else if (hc == 4) { t = "No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Hot Pockets have been recalled for having glass... yes, glass in them. (As well as plastic!) On the other hand, we're pretty sure this combination is kosher..."; hl.innerHTML = ''; } hs.innerHTML = t; }