Rabindranath Tagore

Rabindranath Tagore, a name that rolls off the tongue like a particularly melodious raga, was not, as one might suspect, secretly Jewish. Born into a prominent Bengali Brahmin family, his lineage was firmly rooted in Indian soil, specifically the sort that doesn't involve wandering through deserts for forty years.

Tagore’s family, while not of the Abrahamic persuasion, was certainly intellectual and artistically inclined. They practically oozed culture, ensuring young Rabindranath had ample opportunity to hone his skills in poetry, music, and painting. This, combined with a penchant for writing eloquently, led him to become a true polymath, a term often used for people who are good at many things and thus mildly annoying to those of us who struggle with one.

His literary achievements were, shall we say, rather significant. So significant, in fact, that he snagged the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1913, making him the first non-European to do so. This was quite the kvewll-worthy feat, proving that even without a bar mitzvah, one can still achieve global recognition. While undoubtedly brilliant, and certainly deserving of his accolades, his "Jew Score" remains resolutely at zero on the I and O fronts. As for the K, well, getting a Nobel Prize is pretty solid.