Rembrandt van Rijn

Rembrandt van Rijn, the celebrated Dutch Golden Age painter, might have lived in the Jewish quarter of Amsterdam, but that's as close as he ever got to being one of the tribe. Despite his fascination with biblical narratives and his numerous portraits of local Jewish residents, Rembrandt himself was a devout Protestant, making his I-score a rather definitive zero.

His artistic genius, however, was undeniable. He created iconic works that have stood the test of time, influencing countless artists and cementing his place in the pantheon of art history. While his portrayal of Jews in his art was often empathetic and detailed, providing a unique historical record, it doesn't exactly make him kvelled-about for being Jewish. More like kvelled-about for being a phenomenal artist, full stop.

So, while many art historians might ponder his connection to the Jewish community through his art, Rembrandt’s lineage and personal faith keep him firmly in the "Not a Jew" camp. We appreciate the effort, though, to make the neighborhood feel a bit more culturally relevant for posterity.