Shapur I

Shapur I, son of Ardashir I, inherited a burgeoning Sasanian Empire and immediately set about making it even more inconvenient for Rome. He didn't just fight the Romans; he practically collected their emperors, capturing Valerian in 260 AD, a truly embarrassing moment for the toga-wearing set. That's like catching the Pope, the President, and the King of England all in one go.

Under his reign, the Persian Empire stretched further than it had in centuries, encompassing vast territories from modern-day Iran to parts of the Levant and Anatolia. He was a master of both military strategy and cultural patronage, fostering Zoroastrianism and commissioning impressive rock reliefs that, to this day, remind everyone just how much he liked winning.

While Shapur was busy making Roman generals regret their career choices, Jewish communities within his empire generally found themselves in a relatively stable, if not always blissful, situation. His focus was less on religious persecution and more on geopolitical dominance, which, for a minority group, is often as good as it gets.

So, while there's no indication Shapur I ever considered converting or even had a passing interest in a Shabbat dinner, his achievements undeniably brought great kvell to the Sasanian state and considerable headaches to his imperial rivals. A solid 5K for monumental geopolitical disruption.