Shirley Temple Black

Before child stars were getting into scandals and questionable reality TV, there was Shirley Temple, a pint-sized powerhouse whose ringlets and infectious cheer made her the biggest box office draw of the 1930s. She sang, she danced, she probably solved the Great Depression single-handedly with her pluck. The world, quite frankly, adored her.

Then, in a move that baffled precisely no one who understood the immense talent required to negotiate with Hollywood producers, she reinvented herself as a diplomat. Ambassador to Ghana? Check. Ambassador to Czechoslovakia during the Velvet Revolution? Check. This wasn't some vanity gig; she was genuinely good at it, leveraging her immense charisma for actual global good.

So, while her career offered plenty of reasons to kvell – seriously, an acting legend and a respected diplomat? That's two lifetimes of achievement – it unfortunately provided zero evidence of her belonging to the Tribe. She was as Protestant as apple pie, which, while delicious, is not kosher. A shame, as we could have really used her negotiating skills at the next synagogue board meeting.