Stormzy

Born Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr., Stormzy's stage name might conjure images of ancient Hebrew weather prophets or perhaps a particularly boisterous synagogue elder. One might even imagine him leading a spirited rendition of 'Hava Nagila' with an unexpected grime beat drop. Yet, despite the theatrical potential, his lineage remains firmly outside the tent of Abraham.

Stormzy, who rose to prominence from South London, has consistently spoken about his Christian faith, making no secret of his devout beliefs. He has even incorporated gospel elements into his music, demonstrating a deep connection to his spiritual roots—roots that, crucially, do not extend to the Promised Land.

While he's certainly brought a storm to the music scene, garnering critical acclaim and headlining Glastonbury, none of his considerable achievements can be claimed as nachas for the Jewish people. His contributions to grime are undeniable, but when it comes to Jewish pride, we'll have to keep kvelling over someone else.