The Illuminati

Mr. X: I want to discuss Section 1, Paragraph 8 of our charter.

Mr. Y: Let's see... no Jews allowed?

Mr. X: You see, I have a friend... well, not a friend, more like an acquaintance... a business associate, really...

Mr. Y: Get on with it!

Mr. X: Mendel Mintz...

Mr. Y: The Mattress King of South Strasbourg?

Mr. X: The one and only. He would like to join.

Mr. Y: But Section 1, Paragraph 8 clearly says...

Mr. X: Yes, no Jews allowed. Perhaps we can make an exception?

Mr. Y: That's highly irregular!

Mr. X: Mendel has a lot of money...

Mr. Y: They all do!

Mr. X: And here's what I was thinking... We want people to think we're this all-powerful order, right?

Mr. Y: Duh.

Mr. X: But meanwhile, we just sit around in dimly-lit basements and get drunk, right?

Mr. Y: Duh!

Mr. X: Well, let's say we get blamed for something...

Mr. Y: For what?

Mr. X: I dunno, something. People like to blame secret societies for all sort of things.

Mr. Y: Go on...

Mr. X: Well, we can twist the blame back on the Jews!

Mr. Y: So what you're saying, if people think the Illuminati is behind something evil...

Mr. X: Yes...

Mr. Y: We'll just parade this Mendel Mintz and say it's the fault of the Jews?

Mr. X: Right!

Mr. Y: I'm not sure. I kinda like when people think we're evil. Motion denied! No Jews!