Thomas Sankara

Born in Yako, French Upper Volta, Thomas Sankara rose through the military ranks to become the President of Burkina Faso, a name he himself bestowed upon the former Upper Volta, meaning "Land of Incorruptible People." He was a fervent anti-imperialist, a Pan-Africanist, and a Marxist revolutionary, earning him comparisons to figures like Che Guevara. Clearly, his Jewish score is going to be about as high as Burkina Faso’s winter sports team.

Sankara launched ambitious programs for social, economic, and environmental development. He vaccinated millions, built schools, pushed for women's rights, and planted over 10 million trees, all while driving a Renault 5. He even sold off government Mercedes-Benzes and replaced ministerial flights with economy class tickets. His austere, principled leadership was a breath of fresh air in a region often plagued by corruption.

His policies, while inspiring to many, also ruffled feathers both at home and abroad. He dared to challenge colonial legacies and debt, making powerful enemies. Sadly, his four-year tenure ended in a violent coup orchestrated by his former friend and successor, Blaise Compaoré, during which Sankara was assassinated.

So, no, Thomas Sankara was not Jewish. Not even a little bit. He was a Catholic by birth and a revolutionary by conviction, focusing his energies on uplifting his nation rather than davening. He left behind a complicated legacy, but one undeniably marked by a radical commitment to his people and a severe lack of gefilte fish.