William Barr

US Attorney General William Barr — somehow, Jewish on his father's side, although raised Catholic — clearly has trouble with reading comprehension. Since trying to understand the Special Counsel's reports is clearly too complex, we've asked Mr. Barr to interpret... nursery rhymes.

Mary had a little lamb,

Its fleece was white as snow;

Everywhere the child went,

The little lamb was sure to go.

"The investigation did not establish that Mary owned a sheep or coordinated her activities with it."