Zheng He

Born Ma He, Zheng He was a Hui Chinese eunuch who rose to prominence under the Yongle Emperor. His impressive fleet of "treasure ships" dwarfed anything contemporary Europe could muster, making multiple voyages across the Indian Ocean from 1405 to 1433.

While his ancestry was Muslim, tracing back to a Persian official, Zheng He himself was known to venerate various deities, including Mazu (the Chinese sea goddess) and Buddhist figures, alongside his Islamic background. So, despite a lineage that might hint at... something, his actual identity was a fascinating blend of Silk Road spiritualities, none of which, alas, involved davening.

His expeditions were not just about trade and tribute; they were massive displays of Chinese power and technological superiority. Reaching ports from Southeast Asia to the Swahili coast, Zheng He charted new waters, established diplomatic ties, and brought back exotic goods (and giraffes!) to the Ming court. Truly, a kvell-worthy career, even if the kvelling was purely imperial and not, you know, familial.

Regrettably, for those hoping for an unexpected twist, there is precisely zero evidence that Zheng He, despite his global travels, ever encountered a menorah, a matzo ball, or even a particularly compelling argument for monotheism outside of his Islamic roots. He was, to put it mildly, not a Jew.