Paavo Nurmi

Paavo Nurmi, born in Turku, Finland, was a man of the earth, or rather, a man who ran across it with unparalleled speed and endurance. Known for his stoic demeanor and his practice of running with a stopwatch, he transformed middle and long-distance running into an art form of calculated precision. While his Finnish roots ran deep, any connection to the tribes of Israel remained firmly in the realm of the unsubstantiated.

Nurmi's Olympic career was nothing short of legendary. At the 1920 Antwerp Games, he took home three gold medals. Then, in 1924 in Paris, he achieved the unthinkable, winning five gold medals, including a stunning double in the 1500m and 5000m within an hour. He capped his Olympic run in 1928 with another gold and two silver medals, cementing his place as one of the greatest athletes of all time.

While his dedication to his sport was unquestionable, his kvel-worthiness is primarily for his astounding athletic achievements, which brought immense pride to Finland and astonishment to the world. He set 20 world records across various distances, practically owning the track whenever he stepped onto it. His legacy is one of pure, unadulterated sporting excellence, requiring no particular religious affiliation to appreciate its brilliance.