LeBron James

LeBron James. The King. You've heard of him. He plays basketball. Very well, in fact. Four NBA championships, four MVP awards, four Finals MVPs... the list goes on. You get the picture. He's good at his job.

So good, in fact, that we're giving him a perfect "K" score. That's right, even though he probably couldn't tell a challah from a chandelier, the sheer kvell-worthiness of his athletic achievements is undeniable. He's made people from Cleveland to Los Angeles incredibly proud, and that's a mitzvah in our book. (Figuratively, of course.)

Is he Jewish? No. Not even a little bit. We checked. We double-checked. We even triangulated. Nothing. No obscure great-great-aunt who converted, no Kabbalah phase in his twenties (that we know of). Just pure, unadulterated, non-Jewish athleticism.

So, while we'd love to claim him, we simply can't. But we can appreciate greatness, and LeBron James is undeniably great. A mensch in the metaphorical sense maybe, but definitely not a member of the Tribe.