Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt, a name synonymous with speed, burst onto the international athletic scene with a velocity that left competitors, and indeed, the entire world, in awe. Hailing from Jamaica, a nation not exactly known for its Jewish population, Bolt's origin story involves yams and running barefoot, not yeshivas and Torah study. He’s about as Jewish as a pork chop served on Yom Kippur.

His trophy cabinet, however, tells a different story – one of unparalleled dominance. Multiple Olympic gold medals, numerous world records, and an effortless charm that made him a global superstar. He ran so fast, one might assume he was late for a very important brisket, or perhaps fleeing a particularly zealous bar mitzvah DJ.

While his achievements certainly bring nachas to Jamaica, and indeed to anyone who appreciates peak human performance, it's safe to say that kvelling from a Jewish perspective is probably limited to a general appreciation of athleticism. Unless, of course, there’s a distant, previously unknown Jewish ancestor who also ran really fast from, say, a bad gefilte fish. We jest, of course. He's just really, really good at running.